Three-hundred-seventy-sixth Post

i feel comforted knowing that i'm striving towards constant self-improvement
to make myself more attractive to people
and also to match the standards of others
xD

i know i lack a lot. i didnt take care of my bodie in the past, anyway......
so i'm in a mess now.

i hope to match the standards...... i'll have to work hard
.................................................................................

it's gonna take time... though i may be disappointed
it might not matter, since i would have raised my own standards......

_{we all need emotional support, just as we all need attention}

............

from what i have seen as of yet,
............................................ not gonna say

attractiveness...... there are manie causes of it,
definitelie not being spastic. not attractive to me, at least. ask me for a definition
oh....................... i'm actuallie a rather receptive person
if you make that miniscule effort to speak intelligibly (not intelligently) and with intention, i'll definitelie be interested in you in a non-romantic sense at least

being spastic is just the opposite. it's repulsive

it's vexing.

and when someone attractive comes along...... if you just have absolutely nothing but repulsiveness, of course people will move on to satisfie their basic emotional and social needs

...... i feel sorrie, though. i wonder how one can get out of a... truthfully, pathetic state. are your friends able to help you? i hope so, because i don't like seeing people wallow in self-pity, doing absolutely nothing on their own part to effect positive change and in the end, they are still in the same plight. in the end...... they might just take their own lives. it's sad.
please, God, watch over and protect us
Samuel

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