slept around 5am+... was audi-ing with xan jie since midnite+ LOL playing audi season 2 xD audi~ 屋顶倒塌~ prada~ deso~
JANGAN LOL XD
then went to sleep... woke up 11am but went to sleep sommore... woke up 1pm+ hmm... today (thurs) no movie, but friday have =o hope reallie will have
poor jj and pim @_@ they not in singapore then cant play =o
hmm......
went dexus coz sherlyn mei sms-ed me xD so we went~ outdoor =o saw junhao didi =D haha he saw me then he said "hi korkor" so spontaneously... he so cute la =x
boys having fun......
haha their football stuck...
so tired... slept in dexus abit then went home
i forgot to upload pics of the buffet ytd... i'll edit my previous post...... =o
mmm...... because i was rejected... i sticked to... yellow pieces. well, one more to fully watch. then i'll just call them BEGUILED YOUTHS and hate them. beguiled youths ~.~
hmm... took 101 to hougang... at my busstop, saw a boy... maybe its yeewei didi... i dont know take NEL to outram....... took EWL to jurong east..................... walked to singapore science centre =o haha. abit late.
another full day of slacking ~.~ got my vouchers. had the same thing for lunch. hmm... outside the souvenir shop was one of the toys which belonged inside... people asked me in the volunteer room if "i bought it" i said no. what did RYAN MAK say? "YOU STOLE IT?" he EXCLAIMED.
EXCLAIMED.
SHOUTED.
i said no. you bought it? no. you stole it? no. you bought it? -_-'l| for one, he anti-s me. for two, he's trying to get me into trouble, no? I DIDNT STEAL IT. i just took at from the floor and brought it around with me. _____________ him. besides, if someone were to be blamed for a missing merchandise, it would be your security with a leak. 5pm le... the staff nvr chop my volunteer book. heck care, anyway. aint gonna go there anymore. i have fulfilled my 10hour-CIP requirements ~.~ oh well, CIP + 9 dollars worth of macdonalds vouchers...... can treat my sad dex didi D: and my other didis =x
at the mrt, got this man dunnoe how to use the GTM =o general ticketing machine so i helped him... press the simei button then he inserted his coins and he got his card ur welcome =x then i topped up 10dollars
mrt............... to outram mrt............... to hougang sibei pain la my leg stand for hours ~.~ walked home......
on my way home... during the journey... saw someone... shenghuan...... someone whom i kinda like? dunnnoe la. heard hes 1992 yet same level as me... dunnoe... could ask him be my korkor and all ~.~ what was he doing at hougang there D: did he meet up with huikang for
FUCK?! NOOOOOO T_____T
.......................................................... stalked him, or just walked behind him till he crossed a redman light D: besides, we live kinda close. following him also brings me home, just longer. he could have taken shorter also lor, or maybe the same, but nevermind, just follow him. ..................... sad lor ~.~
home =o poor dex... sayang D:
went sakura~ at yio chu kang japanese buffet @_@
got IKA SASHIMI
(the one in white)
HAHAHAHA got shark's fin soup, got mushroom soup, got salmon sashimi, got icecream, got mussels, clams, etc. etc. omg la so scrumtuous D: haha... eat till FULL xD SHUANG!
reached home... audi havent patched ~.~ now it's sucking. patch not working.
i've made my point... what i wanted... and what i might be able to do just like that just because of... you guess it's okay. it's fine.maybe you dont like me as who i am. i'm gay, but i'm fighting. maybe if there's a "straight" styh, things would turn out awry... blah tomorrow gonna watch movie with xan jie and her couple... haha
my ears are burning right now...... maybe i'm untrustworthy. maybe i WOULD turn out the same. maybe it's better that i stay away.
really sad...... rejected ~.~......
samuel... learn from this...
-------------------------------------------------
today went science centre... volunteer thang...
it was 6 hours of volunteering. 6 hours of slacking =x as well as 7 dollars worth of macdonalds vouchers... spent 2 dollars of it to get apple pie and 1-dollar coke...
hmm...... totally didnt present anything. =x
took some pictures...:
diary products o.O
real brain......
deep sea crap o_O the water was really cold... and the crab is huge
decided to use time. sms-ed jade and she agreed to treat me makanan malam... had my... usual breaded chicken thang and this milkshake thang. reallie nice... it's like drinks + icecream... not those stupid floats in macdonalds years ago which were a failure because the ice-cream drops into the fizzies and... well, there is no ice-cream... but in this milkshake, there is... just suck it and you'll find it.
afterwards, i gave her one of my 1-dollar vouchers... thanks for the dinner
took 51... it was a 2-hour journey it was worth. i get to see many things in a... nice bus. like. geylang. clarke quay. singapore river. i think. man, it's nice. try taking it okay? take the night one... take the one from the interchange at 8pm~10pm. it's nice...
on board, i wished there was someone to lie against me... someone who wants me. passing hotels... i am reminded of weiwen kor. we slept in his car at some hotel's carpark before... nothing sexual he was a nice kor...... just that he's in poly this year, very busy... no time to bring me out anymore... he's conscripted... i am reminded of my p.school. of obs. of GENTING. YES, GENTING. the times when i had fun. and i reallie felt belonged. i miss my p.school class where my friends would all laugh at my jokes. in hci, noone laughed. maybe they were shy, they were cynical. i dont know. obs... sadly it was the last day i "showed my leadership thang". selamat (my obs instructor) did praise me in front of everyone else in my group...... haha... cool............... genting. fun. been there twice with dexus. had fun. oh yes, ......... i rmb at phyllis' condo... she admitted she liked me in "truth, dare, double dare"...... i thought it was only right to "like her back"...... maybe i did like her because of that? but i screwed up in the end. "i'm sorry, but i dont like you anymore" that sms to her made her cry. wrecked her life. I RENOUNCING SOMEONE. made him cry. wrecked his life. i'm a failure in life ~.~ ............................ talk about genting... talk about phyllis' condo partie thang, we had fun... i kinda felt belonged...... it was nice. i liked it alot... talk about genting? it was FUN. FANTASTIC. FANTASTIC
FANTASTIC. fun.
the rides. the space shots the corkscrews the elevated swingy-go-rounds thangs and all... fun. i hope there's one coming soon again. i do wish so. i wish more people from my batch would go along. i want to have fun. i wish sherlyn mei and yeewei di go along. my family... maybe...... take this time to concentrate on them and hope that things work out good.
i've made an irreversible mistake. he'll nvr be my didi again. similar mistake. made my first god kor angrie, disowned me. gone forever even though i tried to get him back. email-ed him to ask about his geographie exams Samuel
nothing sexual this time. NOTHING. NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GIVE ME A CHANCE PLEASE. ............ ............................ ........................................................ please............. justin...... please... i reallie dont know what to say... maybe you'd say yes. maybe you'd decline. ................................. )';
help me? please?
sure, the devil will hound me. but i'll need your support as well as God's. please? i beg of you...... really...... ......................................................................
that sms might have...... angered you... i'm sorry...... please forgive me..................... i dont....... i nvr intended to......... rake the past up........ i just want that past connection we had. please? i want to be more than a friend... a kor. a kor. a kor. or more than a kor in the sense i'm your friend............. a real friend................... ................................... gah.................. rubbish? i dont know. i dont have. ___________. i would say...................... i dont have friends.............................. oh................. God......................................... ................................................................
hais. i reallie dont know what to do )'; :'(
i'm sorry you might have to wait for the background music to end......
the lyrics might not mean what i want to say. it just sounds nice. but... please............. i want you back.......... NOOOOOOOOOOOO, PLEASE DONT BE DISGUSTED! PLEASE. I BEG YOU!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T__________T PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! )';!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont want to give false messages or impressions......................
give me a chance, please? please, justin? )'; i am sorry for whatever i have done to you. i am extremely regretful and sorry......
i'm finallie lvl 37 xD well, not reallie finallie i'm a lvl 37 Pro in audi xD
i turned down jie's request to go out today because i thought i had work today and i didnt know today is public holiday so no work today D: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO T____________T
i'm prettie noob in audi now <.< cant read and press properly and... ~Philotes~ fam ______ pro la ~.~ it's like the enhanced version of ~ISOLATION~ so, we should strive to be better than them :D for a start, we should look for unemployed/droupouts/pro people. those with life. those who can go out. those who have $$. those who are FRIENDLY :D haha. ~.~
i'll be at Singapore Science Centre TOMORROW and ON WEDNESDAY :O DO COME TO VISIT ME :D I'm a volunteer there interpreting the exhibitions o_O i lost my script thang. i think i will reallie screw up @_@ it's gonna be painful rewriting a script. a script with pictorial reminders rather than scrawls of a speech. it's hard. IT'S HARD D: it's hard to connect the points. fancie what i said to pass the time over to another teammate: "now, we have learnt about the two ingredients of weather. let us now zoom in to our daily lives and learn something known as the 'carbon cycle'." <_________>
hmm...... i want to say this:
God, DAMN
PAEDOPHILES
lol...
think noone's reading my rants =o my rubbish. my pathetic _________ posts ~.~
okay, i better set some guidelines so i wont be beguiled to the point i should commit suicide.
1. i will never use my webcam to show anyone from trevvie.
2. i will never do anything sexual with anyone i meet from trevvie. at least not anymore 3. the most you give is your identitie, ie ur email and/or friendster.
4. never "share" or "trade" videos. dont spread the satanic virus of pr0n. God, DAMN YOU, SATAN =o
ok. i'm back from crying. hmm... time differs in this entrie. cried coz i'm rejected again. blah.
hmm......
5. if all else fails. TRY to get melacholy. if you cant... then......
looks like i cried myself to sleep last night...... really. ~.~
i was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in my room i kept on cursing myself and blaming myself for losing relationships. ~.~ ..........................................................................................
yea, so, i cried. .....................................
there's this weird sensation in my stomach...... could it be gastic-induced? or the snapple drinks i dunnoe......
FINALLY. reporting people has finally... been my demise. my recent report. they are gonna come to my blog and find other things than what i wanted to show them. it's over for me. reporting has become my demise.
how the fuck do i get the videos. cb. CB. __ _________ _________ THIS WORLD I HATE THIS WORLD
i should have been dead. i should have been dead. i hate myself. i hate. i should. have been fucking dead.......................................... too bad the dose wasnt strong enough. noone feels sad for me. you dont, you wont. and . . . .................... ......................... why dont you give me a chance again, justin. please? )';
regrets. regrets. no...... i regret. give me a chance, please...... blah...... i regret. regret. 后悔……
Today has been quite serene, which is good... hmm... dunnoe. 杀人.
today, i was bargaining with this adult... 19yo, know absolutely zilch about him he has a plethora of child pr0n...... what am i? jealous? envious?
SAD.
why am i sad? I DON'T KNOW. GOD, DAMN MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAHAHAHA ______ ME TODAY, I'M SAD O_____________O am i sad? yes. i am sad. sad for those BEGUILED YOUTHS. WHAT? GOD, DAMN BEGUILED YOUTHS. which includes me =o just that i wasnt dumb enough to show anyone my body. i dont remember my "height and weight" for you fucktards to imagine how i look so you would continue talking to me or not. you... plethora of videos. why? WHY?
WHY?
and i should have trusted myself more. it's "ninth", not "nineth"......
today, i went to the park. to meet up with samuel loh... guess we slacked around much. the kids... hmm...... no...... i dont fantasize............................................ no............................................. and i saw the one i like... found out hes p6 and his name is junhao... hes from yckps... same as my sis...... ............................................................ 杀我 我恨我自己
IS HE A VICTIM OF HUIKANG THE PAEDOPHILE? IS HE? can i take him? can i save him? CAN I? IS HE A VICTIM OF PERVERSE SODOMY?
many people dislike me. or are they just shy? i dont like myself. i hate myself. i cant get my videos.
sad la. sad la. sad la. sad la. sad la. that video guy said i have to mast with him to get 100 videos. _|_ him. to hell. i have dignitie. at least i have dignitie. i respect myself. I WILL NOT TRADE ANYTHING. i cannot spread this shit.
i shared my snapple with a small boy. he shared it with his friends. some know my name. i hope they remember me.
i've been feeling a weird sensation in my body... i could have been tired... or maybe it's the 2nd-hand smoke...... i dont know. i hope nothing too serious emerges... please.
i dont know. how did you get all the videos? WHY? WHY THESE INJUSTICES?
God bless you. i dont know what to do. just how? good or bad, just how? bad, how? i wont betray my body. these adults, YOU MUST BE CONDEMNED.
i hate myself. i'm no better. no better than anyone. no better than you reading.
today's last day of school... civics trail =o i thought it would be boring xD but it was nice, i guess =o it was a REAL TOUR xD it's tour-esque we went to places like... singapore parliament o_O supreme court O.O st. andrew's cathedral O.O only the outside xD
we've gotten back our report books =o hehe... i thought i would get 3.XX x.x but i got 2.78 :D considering the fact i was greatly affected by this _______ class. i'm sure mr gilbert is soooooooooooooo overjoyed that he no longer needs to handle this class xD
hehe. know what? my german nvr hand in book review, but i still got an A1 xD so...... take a look =o it's interesting they excluded "class position" and "number of exams subjects passed" blah, don't care IH xD
last day of school, zhihao and friends were playing basketball in class O.O i was seated at the computer area using my phone when suddenly the ball hit the table or something and the table COLLAPSED LOLLLLLLLL the whole leg came off and the computer and CPU crashed onto the floor =o nothing broke ba, except for the table and the table cut my thigh =o
went to general office to REPORT. i love to report~ mr sung helped me wash wound and put plaster LOL hmm... then went back class to take report book =o finallie the classroom LOOKS LIKE A CLASSROOM -.-
went to counseloress =o that mr joseph tan CYNIC. CYNIC. i don't like you. in fact, i'll stand up against you, cynic wannabe. >.> tell me if i'm wrong. life's full of lessons we can learn =o
hmm... i've gotten orders from the assistant director of consortium @_@ hmm......
i've woke up from my sleep, and AS EXPECTED, i'm bombarded. =o
i've gotten back my phone bills... wah 100dollars how to tell my father i used internet x.x hmm... lemme try. ~.~
I must be tactful in my words. Must learn from past lessons ~.~
and this is a stern warning to people who come here to FLAME or FLOOD. don't be foolish.
"you" could mean many people. i might not be refering to you, so don't be so conscientious =o
YOU. take that back.
we'll see how reasonable you are. i won't SLANDER people. unless the information i got was inaccurate, fine -- i'm wrong but i'm reporting based of improperness and BULLYING if you don't find that so. maybe i'll make a trip to your school. and talk. sure, kanghua might be wrong TOO... the main things is, i am reporting for improper behaviour =o sure, open. besides, i think you should have a taste of life.
i'm not "bullying" you. shallow people, don't listen to them =o i find that as a kor of kanghua, i cannot sit there and see him get mistreated -- THIS IS WHY I INTERFERE. if you are "helping a friend", what you should be doing now is try to reason it out and READ WHAT I AM SAYING (i read what you say) and NOT. NOT. oppose whatever i'm saying just because i'm on the other side. in fact, you should be pleading for mitigation.
hey, i dont know that esther or whoever else. i am not "GANGING UP" on you. unless we're reallie "ganging up" on you, i think you are scared that you have to "gang up" on us back.
listen, irene: I AM NOT ANGRIE BECAUSE PEOPLE ACCUSED HIM. LOL? i'm not that irrational. fancie flaring up coz someone was accused. sure. i am infuriated because of the malicious treatment my didi got from you. what did he get? middle fingers. profanities. you guys use them to offend. he uses it to defend. who's malicious?
why complain that i report, irene? besides, the main actress didnt mind as said in her blog entrie.
how bout this? arrange an appointment with the principal and me and whoever else involved. we'll see how you guys speak in front of authoritie and me. we'll see how you reason out.
WE. are no pushovers. imma. someone who loves to report things. some kena-ed and died. call your friends, aka drag them down with you. good, can BOND.
i step in becoz i have this right to defend my didi o.o sure, he's been vulgar too xD if he'll be punished too, fine~ i'm reporting for improperness. fancie the fingers and talk. point at me sommore la =o
............................................................. we'll see what your principal says. or maybe parents. etc.. i'll drag whoever in to support me. SUPPORT ME, because i am right although i'm also wrong not because "i'm their frens". lol.
I am writing to inform you about a case of bullying as well as improperness of this student of your school.
Xue Wen of Secondary 2 has been quite unkind to this friend of mine, Kang Hua. They are classmates of class 2C if I am not wrong.
Firstly, Xue Wen and a group of other friends "suspected Kang Hua of hacking" in this online game "AuditionSEA". Because of their constant suspicion, they have been quite unkind towards him. For example, there was a confrontation between Kang Hua and someone named Yi Hui where Yi Hui scolded Kang Hua for scolding this person who suspects him of hacking, Teck Guan. They are all from Sec 2 and probably from the same class.
Secondly, I am extremely disgusted and angered by this student, Xue Wen. Her blog has been quite offensive and profane. She is unrestraint in actions and words and has openly used profane language on my friend, Kang Hua. Please read the posts from 20th October, Monday, to now. From her language, I can tell she is a gangstrous student. She seems undaunted by authority, probably because she has a network of uncouth and gangstrous friends as back up, and she must be punished severely for her actions of bullying.
You might find the "suspicion" thing something trivial, but it has led to open FLAMING of my friend. He might be strongly affected by this mentally and psychologically. With such gangstrocity, Kang Hua might be affected physically in the future no matter how soon or late. I think we have to exterminate such destructive characteristics of our future leaders so that they can be of positive image to the public and their juniors. Such gangsterism and profanity are not tolerated.
It might just be the end of the school term, but I demand that this thing gets sorted out while things are still hot in action, executing severe punishments to deserving students. Please do not compromise my friend's welfare and learning experience here in Bukit Merah Seconday School.
It is dire that these students are educated on internet literacy. Flaming people is a serious offence and serious action must be taken against people who do so. Please keep a lookout for this girl as well as the welfare of Bukit Merah Seconday School students online. If parents or the general public finds out and publicises this, things would go very awry.
I suggest you contact Kang Hua and Xue Wen to interpret every character on her blog to show that there really has been flaming. She has also included me in her flaming, me being one of those "People playing @ Audi" and I take offence in it. The "dash-apostrophe-dash" expression is the "middle finger".
Please respond to this e-mail so that I know you have acknowledged this thing. If nothing effective will be done, I will pursue the higher authorities.
Yours sincerely, Samuel
i sent another e-mail. to moe. lol, we'll see how things go.
TODAY, we went to hong lim O_O chinatown there. do CIP =o while the other 11 groups went out to apartments to clean houses, my group stayed at the RC (resident's committee or something) to clean that RC thang XD haha... what a mess ~.~ ms quah knows i'm samuel xD but forgot my surname...... mr lim doesnt even know me. lol. prosopagnosia o_O or he just doesnt know me. well, he doesnt even know me ~.~
mmm...... okay. it's thursday night... he'll be back tomorrow... he must sure have had fun =o
freaking unrestraint hooligans. =o WE ~ISOLATION~ people DO NOT HACK. lol.
by the way, "gangstrocity" is a portmanteau of "gangstrous" and "atrocity" xD
today, i wonder how he's doing. expeditions, land and sea...... sure, he's having fun inverse tower o_O cool etc....
today was EOYA... which was fish paintball O_O i was damn noob D: think i shot noone. thought i would be pro, but i got shot instead ~.~ many times. kena in the chest and my left thigh D: pain and there's this bruise on my left thigh........... what the hell. nowonder it's call pain(t)ball
afterwards, took shuttle bus from orchid country club to yishun mrt... then went to woodlands
met up with desolation :D deso didi xD bryan~ Finallie xD hes shuai =D
mmm... went lan =o haha.
thanks for the day, didi ^^
bloodie journey home.
sure. THOSE EVIL THOUGHTS. i know them. God, please dispel them...... please ........ ......................... )';
i look at myself, and think... how ugly can i get? i look at my picture, and it's disgusting. and my face has an outbreak... and i lost some weight. i hope hes having fun... i give up. i shan't do my german book review. i shall die and disappoint. i'm that, anyway. a disappointment. a SACRILEGE. someone unworth. someone destructive. sure, i destroy lives. THINK. my actions can kill. best i be dead. i should have been. i should have been DEAD. i could have been dead o.o .............................................
no, dont tell me what to think and what not to. sure, i wont kill myself ~.~ i'm getting old. and unwanted. not wanted. AND I JUST DROPPED MY PHONE. coz of a beetle <.< i'm hungrie...... havent eaten.................... the cold laksa looks disgusting.
bah............................................ i want to feel sad. it makes me feel good. and yesterday i have hurt another person...... mengjie didi. hoho, losing people slowly. sure, some people anti me in fam.
............................................. I MISS HIM! I REALLY DO! i am so sad. so depressed. SO DEPRESSED. what have i done? ................. Today FOA play "The Pianist"... damn nice movie...................................................................................... i reallie hate myself i do hope hes having fun and all. oh sure hes having fun. oh sure. because i'm extinct in his mind. i love it. i love to harp on things... God. GOD, GIVE ME MY MELANCHOLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to live a depressed life. let me live it. it's better than being gay, right? excuses. says someone. i dont know, i dont want to know. i dont care, i dont want to. Samuel
i know i have hurt people. they will never forgive me in the sense we could retain the same cordial status. i know we're only humans.
it's very depressing... i have hurt people. been insensitive, been uncaring and hurtful in words and actions. people......
reading chat logs. how dumb can i get tears....... welling up......... just a blink and they roll down...... or maybe a few blinks... the main things is, i am crying.
yesterday, i went to play poooooooooooooool with my father =o he's damn pro ._______. freak D: hmm... of around 8 games, i won..................... 0 =x
i saw this boy. i've seen him before. he lives on the 5th storey in my block. maybe if i had been better towards him many, many years ago, he wouldnt be loitering behind at 11pm+...... maybe if i had just led him good, he would be so much better off. of course, that's talk. ~.~ baseless talk
i saw gangs. boys and gals. and i saw one maybe 10yo boy... what the hell were they doing at hougang green mall at 11pm? doomed youths.
justin and max are at obs... have fun ^^ join Tenzing~ LOL
today, was... festival of arts O.O interesting... we went to... err. singapore arts museum or something. cannot rmb. anyway, we slacked for around 2 hours. ~.~ xD
am home now......
what can i say about beguiled youths? i am sad for you, reallie. and... i'm at trevvie. ~.~ and at sites.
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spikedog123
Samuel Tan Yuan Han
4th January 1993
spikedog123@hotmail.com
Loves <33
eating liquorice
eating sashimi
eating ice-cream
nice, handsome and smart people ^^ LINE
Wishes
Earn $1000 in 2012 (27 Mar 13) Have five tutees LOL (10 Aug 14) Pick up a new language (25 Nov 12) Dye mah hair ^^ (?? Feb 12)
Find a girlfriend
Have 20/20 vision Fix my teeth (03 Nov 16)
Have a haircut (04 Mar 2015)
Have a haircut (23 Jun 2015)
Have a haircut (31 Oct 2015)
Have a haircut (30 Dec 2015)
Have a haircut (04 Feb 2016)
Have a haircut (10 May 2016)
Have a haircut (13 Jul 2016)
Have my hair dyed (14 Jul 2016)
Have a haircut (21 Oct 2016)
Have a haircut (09 Mar 2017)
