today isoouting. struggled to wake up. kinda. deso didi called. well... audi-ed some, then met sammel and andrew... then went to hougang mrt station... then... ped came... then... we went up and took 72 to yio chu kang......
very sad. sad...... emo......
took mrt to. khatib. met panda. pim. chias.
went to. city hall. met nai
all went to bedok. i was sad all along. desperately wanting a reply. he didn't replie my sms-es......
met bur and prada.
anyway. the girls went ahead to east coast park first. the boys... went to macdonalds nearby. we ate some. played old maid. i guess it's a fun game.
went east coast... sad still. rendezvoused. walked. to. some rental shop. rented bicycles. rode. for maybe an hour. it was fun. very fun. bur was screaming. so funny...... it was fun.
pim went off first. with the receipt. and i didn't get to eat the hot tom yam... sigh hassle returning the bikes. my monkey. the string broke. my balloon burst. sad. on it was. "< DD alvin"
didi replied...... finally. still... gah.
decided to go cyberera. for lan. sms-ed alvin. kk, he would go if i treated. and percival went along.
we took a cab. took some pics of chia. same pose.
went to cyberera. played some. met some. frightened kou. saw some. freaked out. didi came. well... 不知所措. the rest went off first. thanks for coming. well... sent ped off.
stayed behind. tagged the two of them along in the bus...
sat beside. talked to my alvin didi. well... i don't know what to say. well. well. i don't know what to say. well. ...... well. ........................................ i... asked if i could hold his hand. he had my toy monkey in his hand. i held his hand. fingers intertwined. ...... ............ the feeling? great. fantastic. i liked it alot. it was nice. it was nice. i held his hand. i held his hand. our fingers intertwined. interwound. stroked his hand............ it was nice. i liked it. ............................................................ someone sms-ed him. ...... wanted him to let me hold his hand again. he... didn't... respond... again. again. one last time. held my hand out to show that i wanted to hold his hand. okay. he... responded. we held hands. again. ............................... it was nice. gonna alight soon. i asked. if. he could kiss me. he looked behind...... and...... pecked me on my cheek.
the feeling. was. great. i liked it. to the heavens.
followed him around. well, percival said. it's over between them? i don't know. guess they still liked each other. followed them around. then. then. well... dispersed...... ...................................................... he is. attached. ................................... i. thank him. for. the feeling he gave. on the bus.
it was nice.
hais............
maybe. never a chance like this ever again. so. i want to say. thanks. alvin... you'd be better off with percival it was nice while it lasted really...
haha. today followed alvin didi and his fammates o.O fam outing or something =o hehe......
go to some. sibei nice de place @_@ like ktv lounge. i dunnoe la =o super nice. got karaoke got pool got laptop =x haha then... he and his...... friend. love each other haha.
................................................................. good lor.
anyway, i ran. upstairs. the toilet. that cubicle. to be still. heart ache. physicallie painful. i am dying. but i dont want to die. i dont want to emo coz i'm exhausted. it kills me and i dont want to die. i want happiness.
heh...
just found out i been sms-ing his house LOL wasted... @_@ anyway... haha. ...........................................................
third time le. first time wif zhixiong and alfred. second time. with. this. aiya, forget. third time? alvin and kelvin
life is so sad...........................................................................................................................
just got back from emo-ing outside since 11pm++++++
hmm... went park in front. think. think. think. got one boi... maybe 16yo. walking his dog i look at him. shy shy, look down. just another passing stranger ba......
walking to punggol park. saw cats. one big cat, one tinie cat. or a kitten. it was very scared of me. ........................ emo. emo. well, both are males. hmm... just makes me think of. didikorkor. this was at some field near the canal. spent. from. 12++ to 2++ ............saw a boi cross the road at a distance..........................i thought about why ding chao hated me..................i thought about why people didnt want me............................reading through my 2000+ sms-es..........skipping those which sucked...........................................................
left when the big cat was attracted to a ladie. meowing. meowing. at least the ladie meow-ed back. she's a nice ladie. and i can go in peace to punggol park
tired. so tired. ................................................................................................. tired. rested abit. walked back
saw the cat again. go see the cat again... stroke the cat... left soon. thoughts of perversion were coming cute cat.
saw an advertisement about maths. that man looks dangerous. maybe it's a paedophile
i can never trust stranger adults
am home. 5am+
so. at least 5 hours outside. when people did not replie my sms-es did not go out with me. it's all okay. it just contributes to my melancholie which i love
this time, i thought of the past more. pri school. etc. cried. not reallie. but teared.
and it hurt. badly very. badly. very. badly. very badly. very badly. it hurt. it hurts. badly. quite badly.
i was pushed onto the floor. told to "STOP IT". tsk, and fancie all these. i was going about MY OWN BUSINESS. being a KID. maybe i was kinda emo-ing. but i wasnt. just being a kid, shy and all. to THINK you would do such a thing to a KOR?
KOR MY
FUCKSHIT _|_
SOAB
i will NEVER FORGIVE YOU, TEO ZHI XIONG. i del-ed all your fucking sms-es without reading. you are OFFICIALLIE DISOWNED :O
sure, i cried. but NOT FOR YOU _|_ just imagining why no korkor came to comfort me. nevermind. i have my imaginary jsen didi you rejected me. i will never accept you again. the same goes to everyone else. reject me, sayonara
tsk, you spoilt the keychain ms wong gave me. it costs 6dollars, fucker.
today went tan tock seng hospital. eye thing. doctor says my astigmatism is low o.o tsk,
guess made mom unhappie. i was thinking to myself. i want to LOSE MY FEELINGS. so i wont feel hurt when i hurt her. let me be a heartless bastard. i wish she could disown me. i have noone to support me, though. it's okay, just to make you feel better. and you should feel better. just get over it.
she's the one i love alot. whenever i shouted at her, i would always cry GAH. _________________________, samuel
stereotypic doctor. he takes advantage of the patients' ignorance.
I. am well-read.
i'm not some dumbass auntie or whatever.
talk about astigmatism and my eyes, the optician said that my astigmatism has been increasing and my myopia the other way. BUT HE SAID THAT the "300/400degrees" I SAID was the myopia. "the 300 degrees is your myopia lah" when i argued sommore, he said "whatever la" have i etched myself in his mind?
stereotypic doctor.
mom says this clinic is well-known. kinda. Excel Familie clinic. yea, with this kind of doctor. fancie some eye equipment. flashing and flashing, and a sneller scale. just what? even the counter ladie says "writing the referral letter costs 8dollars" *giggles* it doesnt. it's the default consultation fees -.-
look what two notices in the clinic say. take note of the tone and language ._. what ARROGANCE. anyway, getting my eye check tomorrow. hope they wont dilate it. if they dilate it, i hope it fades before i fgb tmr @_@ vs-ing ~HoloCaust~. should be able to win.
went pcbunk ytd. ytd isoouting :B panda, devil, the chias, 9, deso, sammel and i went =x ash came with his frens.
audi~ so noob ._. lost to some metoyou ahwei guy coz i missed. damn the keyboard ._. i'll pawn his ass next time.
went arcade. played silent hill with deso xD we are so good~ made it to stage 3 area 2 @_@ so fun xDDDDDDD and baskteball so tiring and super bishi bashi champ was faultie ._.
went parklane~ audi at some lag lan xD so farnie
i dace dace revo. i played like a complete piece of ______________ -.- so noob. T_T even ash said i made a fool out of myself by playing that ........................................................... emo Tnt
well, there's still para para =o
went yamaha~ hehe, blogging in non-chronological order. devil owns an 11.8k keyboard @_@
after our arcade, we all dispersed =o
took mrt to hougang with sammel
falling ill. my left leg is. infested. ._. i dunnoe, allergies. it's eating up my whole leg TmT and i got pain just now. and it feels weird.
hais. ~.~
jy pim~ sec1 push~ psle is just an entrie ticket. no big deal.
thanks sammel for going out with me today (or sunday)
there was this little boi who purchased 15tuperwares of beancurd... cute. voice haven broken. ................................................................... yes, get the wrong messages. xD
sammel wore striking shorts O.O it was a luminous yellow with a black shirt <.<
waited for sammel at n&b snacks, some place selling beancurd. that cute boi entered. ...................................... dammit. let me smile. (:
he came. he looks different. walked to punggol park. to swing~ and swing~ walked a big round.
told him many things. my days outside and all...... my encounters. with paedos.
and warned him about people like huikang and huileong, fucking paedos who go around asking people to be his "god di di" using his phone. at least huileong did. to me and shaun. asking us to be his didis -.- he doesnt even know me now. or when montfort had midautummfest. he didnt recognise me. tsk, fucking gayshit.
went coffeeshop. thanks for the drink.
walked to the neighbourhood park. someone whom i like is there. or do i? who cares about my englisch now sim sheng huan. wonder if hes 1992 or 1993. i dont know.................... ..................................................................
reached home to sleep. earlie o.o had some dreams........ forget what they were about. i felt an urgency in my dreams. i woke up, and went to "relieve" and went audi. chuang, 9 and ash were online. met a gay who lives in germany. been chatting with him. ................................................................
give me. silence. melancholic silence gah whatever just leave me alone with the one i like. PLEASE. .......................................................................................................................
from someone HAPPIE and OPTIMISTIC I WAS! XD into someone pessimistic. sad. into someone masochistic and melancholic. and now. into some sadist.
shouted at mom. made her sad. makes me sad as well, no? at least last time. i always cried when i shouted at her. it hurts me. maybe the feeling is slowly dying out. i'll be the one who will kill her. melancholie will be my demise. i'll slowly lose my... friends? are they, even, in the first place.
i guess i learn from others. i pick things up, whether good or bad.
i wish she could stop caring. stop it. STOP IT.
STOP IT
she never changes. i am DAMNED.
intelligent people, i hate them. stereotypists. may be verbose, may be powerful. but they abuse. putting pride and emotions into actions, they kill you. i hate a few teachers and i will never forgive them. cynics. stereotypists. ____________________ i have NO respect for you.
i am scared i'm dying. maybe i havent eaten dinner. a hole is burning through the mucas wall of my stomach. but my heart. it hurts. it's like the ribcage pokes. and i hope it does. because i want to die. .................................................................................................................................................................................
AND. i am like. ________ i knew it. knew she would sweep that area.
today, i cummed for euphoria and melancholy.
and now she's washing the dishes, making alot of noise. IF SHE'S THE ONE NOT AT FAULT, I'M THE ONE, OKAY? SHE HAS SPEECH DEFICIENCY AND SO DO I. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, and right now, i think i'm feeling nothing OUTSIDER
was playing audi. played with this TPU kia. hes 17 and. i......................................... like him? anyway, he's my korkor now... he's reallie good he can 1m+ for 188 db4 cf played many matches with him, only 2 4k well... i'm sposed to win. but people were reallie. NOISIE. GOD, DAMN IT NOISIE.
hmm....................... emo-ed much.
hais.
completed the whole DW6 Lü Bu rocks~ but they call it Lu Bu in the game >.>
today, mom's bank had a familie day so, we went to safra mount faber. to bowl. i bowled. not reallie very well. ate some. drank. slept......
today, i tried my chances to have a girlfriend...... ...... it failed. don't ask me who that gal is. reallie...... gah.................................... it's okay.
while i was self-mutilating, i thought of something. which was.
EUPHORIC
it made me feel heavenly. it was FANTASTIC. i thought about having a korkor. a nice one. who's. myself. we're both so happy together. hah.......................... the feeling was really great. yet. it's unreal. got to PCBunk. to sleep. for a few hours. people left me there. no matter. saw ming kor. played 8k once... ahwin didnt wave back. and i played like fuckshit
coincidentally, it's the last episode of Chase. maybe ...... he'll wait another ten years. he has waited. ................................ .................................................................................. sad endings.
yay. raised my voice at my sister. gonna drop a tone. gonna bleed my throat. maybe not. fuck it to hell. God damn this world.
now i'm playing Rappelz its kinda like cabal... i hate cabal guess i would prefer this rappelz to cabal
and. results of my strengthsquest......
been audi-ing less. if i had been audi-ing, i would have reached lvl 39 alreadie...... and there's a bubp bug. npc scores are 1-person scores and not 5-people ......................................
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spikedog123
Samuel Tan Yuan Han
4th January 1993
spikedog123@hotmail.com
Loves <33
eating liquorice
eating sashimi
eating ice-cream
nice, handsome and smart people ^^ LINE
Wishes
Earn $1000 in 2012 (27 Mar 13) Have five tutees LOL (10 Aug 14) Pick up a new language (25 Nov 12) Dye mah hair ^^ (?? Feb 12)
Find a girlfriend
Have 20/20 vision Fix my teeth (03 Nov 16)
Have a haircut (04 Mar 2015)
Have a haircut (23 Jun 2015)
Have a haircut (31 Oct 2015)
Have a haircut (30 Dec 2015)
Have a haircut (04 Feb 2016)
Have a haircut (10 May 2016)
Have a haircut (13 Jul 2016)
Have my hair dyed (14 Jul 2016)
Have a haircut (21 Oct 2016)
Have a haircut (09 Mar 2017)
