Three-hundred-ninety-sixth Post

hello~


i woke up at dunnoewhat time O: maybe 8+ ? and i couldn't get back to sleep ):


i had been thinking and thinking...... not to say overthinking and that it would destroy me
but i had been thinking...... just conflicting inside my head...... thinking of reasons why i should hold on, why i should just give up.


well...... i think it's clear. it's visible. from the latest treatment...... comparing it with the scenario in which he'd have answered me in another way...... like "talk to you later, okay? =)"
instead, i got "wtf." simplie because I'd never do that.



i woke up today with nice hair :3 which i am going to wear to meet mah church friends...... haven't seen them for a month ): because i had been unavailable...... chinese new year and my cousin's wedding and all... would be great to see them again ^^ i think that my hair will not so sho kickash, though :3


oh, and remember in my previous blog post (if any of you ghosts still read my blog) i said that i give 40% each to my parents? SCRAP THAT :P imma give 20%...... that was what i gave my mom anyway O: 8 dollars......
that leaves me with 50% of my salary to myself ^^
and i still have debts to pay............ O: i need more customers! LOL.



i think i've tried enough. for a whole week, i've tried. tried to please you, not to offend you, to talk to you...... i'm just condescending.


By the definition in dictionary.com,


to put aside one's dignity or superiority voluntarily and assume equality with one regarded as inferior


i chose to see all that's good......


obviouslie unappreciated. i need someone who appreciates me, that is but the most attractive qualitie that i look for in a person. appreciative.


speaking of being appreciative, i like how your voice sounds ^^ and that i should stand at your right side...... they are all part of your attractive qualitie ^^


but whose heart is ugleh now? we're all becoming what we thought we'd never become ^^ that is but a desperate doing in life......


it's just clear to me...... i don't want to consider anymore <.<


my doors are always open, though ^^ you may walk in, if you aren't so crippled. it's your fing turn to put in effort.


Samuel

Labels: 12startanew